Famous Geocachers inHistory
by BarbiQ62
August 17, 2003
ISBN: 0U812!
Undisputed EVIDENCE
Of the long history of the sport we now call GEOCACHING
Which proves beyond a SHADOW OF A DOUBT
That Geocachers have been roaming the Earth for Centuries looking for hidden trinkets in containers and cross referenced with latitude and longitude.
In addition, we will PROVE to you, that
-GPS SYSTEMS were invented long before the masses even knew what a satellite was
-Mr. Garmin and Mr. Magellan were once CLOSE FRIENDS who parted ways over an argument about a Geocache placement
-The internet was invented centuries ago, long before Al Gore was even a twinkle in his parents eyes. In fact, his parents were not even twinkles in their parents twinkling eyes yet. Anyway, we think this proves that Al Gore did not invent the internet.
Geocaching during the Civil War era
Geocaching was a popular sport during the Civil War era. Since most of the metal trinkets used for trading had been melted down to turn into guns, people resorted to leaving wheresgeorge.com currency in the caches.
Pappy and Mammy Munchhausen, November 1803
Pappy and Mammy pose here for a webcam cache in 1803. If you look closely you can see Mammy Munchausen holding the family GPS.
This photo went down in history, and was published in newspapers worldwide, because just moments later poor pappy and mammy were killed dead by a freak train derailment just a few hundred feet away.
You can see the look of terror on their faces as the flying train approached.
Some say that Mammy and Pappy were not killed, and explain the look on their faces as a natural expression, since both of them were hardcore vegetarians who ate a lot of beans.
Pappy and Mammy logged over 735 caches in their years of Geocaching together.
1789 - Cletus Miller invents the GPS helmet
Cletus Miller was an inventor and GeoCacher extraordinaire. Cletus wanted to find a new way to power his GPS, since batteries were so hard to come by. He also wanted to be able to climb mountains with both hands free. As they say, necessity is the mother of inventions, and thanks to Cletus, the GPS Helmet was born.
It was powered via an oral tube affixed to the side of the mouth. A bowl at the end of said tube was filled with tobacky and lit - the wearer would then suck and blow smoke from the bowl, producing a high that resulted in increased metabolism and brain wave activity. The GPS antenna was affixed to the wearer’s head via a crude suction cup, which required shaving off a small patch of hair from the head. The suction cup base featured a mechanism that would suck brain wave activity and convert it to energy, thereby powering the GPS.
The "Flannigan Boys" were hardcore eTrex users. They would beat up any cachers they ran into during a hunt, especially if they were using Magellan products. They are shown here posing with a huge cache found near Huckleberry Mountain in 1925.
Art Rayjuss started the Rainbow Cachers club in 1951. His goal was to offer a club that men could enjoy without fear of harassment.
The club consisted of 2 members, Art and his “best friend” Joe Veeyal. They tried in vein to get other “members” to join, but none could pass the stiff initiation rites.
Art and Joe went down in history, logging over 6900 finds in their many years together.
Today the Rainbow Cachers Club boasts thousands of members. In 1973, womyn were allowed to join and this tripled the roster.
Sir Isaac Newton Impresses us again
Sir Isaac Newton was an avid Geocacher. When he was not investigating the properties of light, he found it relaxing to go on a Geocache hunt. His signature trading trinket was a small prism.
Sir Isaac was kind enough to ethermail us his selfie-portrait holding his beloved Magellan SporTrak Map.
His geocaching name is "Sir-I" and he has logged over 10,000 finds as of 2003.
2001 President Bush wishing to join the ranks of Geocachers
We were permitted a short interview with the president, where he remarked “I have been taking a class on Geocaching. When I am done studying this book, I think I will be ready to find my first cache!” Then his guards came and shuffled him off.
We wish the president luck in his new hobby.
Sevuruss Snipe, once believed to be a fictitious character, was seen by Team BarbiQ62 whilst Geocaching one day. Mr. Snipe graciously granted us a few moments of his “precious time” as he called it, to tell us how he uses his GPS.
"Whilst searching ingredients for my new potions, I always carry my beloved eTrex Legend. The basemap contains lakes, rivers, cities, interstates, national and state highways, railroads and coastlines. Of course I don't NEED a GPS to find ingredients, I am just saying it helps. Especially in new territory." His eyes glinted malevolently through his curtain of greasy black hair, and finally he said, "Now go away. I don’t have time for silly interviews."
We pretended to go away, but secretly followed Mr. Snipe, and watched him hide a cache under some ivy on the forest floor. After he slipped away, we snuck up to the cache to view its contents. Inside an Ammo Box he had placed a small bottle of some blue liquid, a medium bottle of some red liquid, a little canister of some green powdery stuff, and a sandwich bag filled with various dried herbs. There was no log book, so we didn’t sign it. Suddenly we became very dizzy and disoriented, and a few hours later found ourselves sitting back in our car, the engine running, seatbelts not fastened, eyes reddened and tongues so dry we were spittin’ cotton.
If you come across an unlisted cache with colored bottle of potions in it. Calmly close the lid, and run like hell.
While out caching one day, Team BarbQ62 ran into this woman, known only as Loana. She and her “old man” as she sometimes called him, had a Magellan Meridian GPS, which they had used with quite a bit of success.
Following is an excerpt from the interview:
“When Tumak and I left the clan, we used our handy Magellan Meridian to make a clean getaway. It is built to perform on the most challenging and rigorous adventures! It let us see hidden routes around the caves, and helped us avoid the dinosaur feeding grounds. The Meridian GPS showed us when the sun would rise and set, as well as the phase of the moon. It has a Fish and game calculator that helped us find food in unfamiliar territory.
If Tumak hadn’t accidentally dropped it in the campfire that night after having consumed all the grog, we might have had an easier time whist roaming around the Earth back in One Million Years BC. Hey it was rough back then! Without out the Magellan Meridian we might never have gotten as far as we did. Luckily we found a GPS repair cave a few thousand years later, and we were back on the hunt.
Our Meridian has lasted a long, long time. Nowadays we don’t need it for survival, but we still use it for Geocaching. Over the years we have logged over 365,000,000 cache finds! That’s one a day for a million years! I challenge anyone to prove they have beaten our record.”
Then a semi truck passed by and honked its horn, and Loana disappeared into the foliage like the speed of light. I don’t know where she went but I am pretty sure she is still caching to this day.
The Wild Geocaching Bunch:
The Most Famous Western Wanted Poster
"We were passing the pitcher studio and thought it would be a good joke to have our pitcher taken." So said Butch Cassidy about this picture that eventually led to the Wild Geocaching Bunch's downfall. The photographer was so proud of the photo he put it in his front window and a Pinkerton man saw it.
Butch and his gang hid over 500 bomb caches in their time. They never aimed at hurtin' an innocent man, only the rich and famous.
Garmin and Geocaching get worldwide attention when the Apollo Crew land on the moon using only the Garmin Space Pilot to guide them.
While the crew was on the moon, they hid a few caches. "I'll shake the hand of the man who is FTF this cache!" remarked Neil Armstrong.
One of the caches is an Ammo box from WW1 and contains some moon rocks, an Apollo STS 1 patch, packet of orange flavored Tang and some extra batteries.
Since there is no gravity in space, the logbook and pencil are tethered to the cache. "I would feel bad if someone came all the way up here to find this cache, only to open the box and watch the log book and pencil float off into space. That would be a real bummer!" said Mr. Armstrong, as he smartly curled a 40 pound dumbbell.
Another cache purportedly contains some moon rocks, a single packet of original flavor Tang, some more moon rocks, and a small canister of Ovaltine.
The most difficult cache was placed on the dark side of the moon, and contains a Pink Floyd album, some moon rocks, a mini USA flag, some more (different kinds this time) moon rocks, and some sparkly stuff they say they found on the moons surface.
To date, no one has found the caches left on the moon by the Apollo Crew, so these caches continue to hold the record for longest cache with no logbook entries.
© 2021 by Barbara Ann Leach Claridge